The Benefits of Being Best-Friends With Your Mom

faith

I know what you’re thinking, oh great, another blog post about loving your mom.

Yeah, most of us have moms, and most us love our moms. I’m just here to tell you how much better life gets when you grow-up, and let her be your best-friend. When I was fifteen, even sixteen, I didn’t need her to be my friend, I needed her to be my mom. I needed her to give me boundaries, yell at me, drive me to dance, and take my phone away. I would be completely different if she hadn’t. I still need her to tell me when I’m wrong, ask me about deadlines, tell me if an outfit is too slutty, take my blog pictures, and hassle me about spending too much money.

I’m about to leave. I’m facing the reality that I will never “live” with her ever again. Home will still be home, but my parent’s house will never again be only home. I’m gonna need my mom more than ever, but this time I need her to let me complain, cry on her shoulder, take me shopping, visit me when I’m lonely, and ask me about my week. I know this kind of relationship won’t be a problem for us, because she’s already my best friend. Sure I have plenty of best-friends my own age, but no one understands me like she does. No one knows my entire history, and no one will ever be as similar to me as she is. I could give you a cheesy Buzzfeed list of relatable gifs talking about how she’s my shopping buddy, but it’s so much more than that.

My mom is my spiritual mentor, my standard, and my evidence that living for Christ creates a flood of answers and immeasurable joy. My mom is an example of the kind of person I want to be, and sometimes she’s a reflection of the person I am now… the good and the bad. I may look like my handsome dad, and I more appreciate his sense of humor, but I definitely inherited her music taste and love for fashion. I may not be as organized and tidy as her, but I learned her creativity and love for writing.

Yes, I think my parents are the coolest people ever, but most people think that. Look at your mom, and notice the ways you’re like her. She’s probably influenced your life more than any other person ever. She devotes her existence to maintaining yours. When your childhood comes to an end, let her be your best-friend, because I’m sure that she wants to. The benefits of being close to your mom are literally scientific, but mentally and spiritually we need our moms more than anything.

At least tell her you love her.

Dedicated to Mama.

Sincerely,

Jordan

 

Featured Image by Love, Me Photography 2016

Spring Cleaning: Friendships

faith

Friends are mostly the best thing ever.

Friends are also the worst thing ever.

These are some of the most difficult relationships we deal with, I would say this especially goes for girls. I’ve had my share of amazing friendships (shoutout to those who – for whatever reason – have stuck by my craziness), but I’ve also been in a few friendships that took a turn towards toxicity, as many of you can probably relate to. I’ve learned to start looking for a few signs in my friendships that show me if this is someone I want to be in my inner-circle – because once they are allowed in – it is very painful to get them out. As you read these, remember to ask yourself if you are this kind of friend, just as I have to ask myself.

* Not all of these points are based on my own experience, but also from observing other relationships around me. *

1. Where do you both stand on issues that are super important to you?

If you are non-confrontational (like I am) than this is crucial. You do not need to agree with your friends on everything, in fact – I’ve learned a lot and become even more secure in my faith by being around those with differing worldviews. Some of my best-friends disagree with me on things, but when there is love and respect it isn’t an issue. Yet still, if you can sense any sort of animosity between both of you on any variety of worldview issues (religion, social politics, ethics/morals, etc.), this may be someone to keep in your outer-circle – or not in your circle at all if they act on it. Some may disagree with me on this, but if you are trying to have people in your life who encourage you, support you, and believe in you, you need someone who believes with you. 

2. What is the pattern of their past friendships?

How many lasting friendships have they had? How do people of upstanding character feel about them? I’m not saying you should judge someone based on the opinions of others, but when you start to see those patterns that you were warned about reflected in your relationship, it might be time to take a step back. 

3. How do they treat your mutual friends?

I know everyone has heard, “If they’re talking about others to you, they are talking about you to others.” This couldn’t be more true. I’ve had my share of being wrapped up in gossip: I’ve talked about others, and I’ve been talked about by others. It’s painful and dramatic. Ten out of ten would not recommend. Do your friends report to you bad things that the person in question has said and done to them? If so, don’t be suprised when they do the same to you. People are far too predictable.

4. Do they actually like you?

Just like dating relationships, many friendships are very one-sided. I’ve made lots of effort to be friends with people who give me every indication that they don’t like me, but out of denial, and a desire to be appreciated, I have let it happen and let people treat me like dirt. On the other hand, I’ve had people make an effort to be friends with me, and have blown them off in a subtle – yet selfish – way. If you can sense that the person treats you like the jello-cup they choose only when there’s no more pudding, your friendship will never work out. If someone desires to be friends with you, and you “don’t like them,” ask yourself why before you write them off. Is it because they are a bad person? Or is it because of your image/reputation/appearance or other selfish reasons? 

5. Does your friend lift you up, or do they act jealous at your accomplishments?

A jealous friend is very hard to deal with, because few of us are bold enough to call them out. I mean really, the problem is ours because we are doing well and they feel bad, right? No. If you aren’t being arrogant or entitled, you don’t have to apologize for your accomplishments. If said friend isn’t over the moon for you, they don’t really like you. 

We often feel like we are walking on eggshells around friends who fall into any of these catagories, because regardless, we still desire their approval and respect. We don’t want “friend breakups” for fear of gossip and rumors – the worst side-affect. As painful as it is, there is nothing more joy-filled and free than cleaning out the people who influence you negatively, and filling your time with those who build you up. I so love to be around people who draw me closer to my relationship with Christ, and make me feel loved. Some of my favorite people are just the ones who make me feel like I’m funny, because I at least know they appreciate my presence. I’m so thankful for all the people I have ever been friends with, even the ones that didn’t last, because I have grown, become more secure in my faith, and found who are true friends. 

Proverbs 18:24

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Sincerely,

Jordan

Endurance

fashion

I’ve noticed recently that during my work in the ballet studio, I’m low on energy, endurance, and power. Running my solos multiple times is a struggle, and I have to be able to perform well in the studio multiple times in order to perform well once on stage. I made a decision that I was gonna do what I had to do in order to build my endurance. I started running a few times, walking and sprinting, to make my stamina last longer. I started seeing improvements in my endurance during my variations, and now I finally feel like I can relax a bit and enjoy the movements, I trust that my body can make it through the whole piece if even start it off at 100% energy.

As I was running the other day, I started thinking about how long this season has been for me. Auditioning, waiting, panicking, doors closing, doors opening, plans changing, unknown future, exciting news, bad news, waiting, wait some more… and I still don’t know for sure where in the world I’ll be living and training in 6 months. All that I know is that I’ll be just turned 18 years old, out in the world, hopefully doing what I love, trusting in (or at least attempting to trust in) God’s plan for me. The wait to determine the unknown is killing me. I’m losing endurance. I’m losing the ability to continue to trust God’s Will, and so much of me wants to just forget about it and take matters into my hands, like I usually do. Trusting in God’s plan doesn’t mean laying down and not putting in the work, it means putting in the work knowing that whatever the outcome, good or bad, is exactly what was meant to be. 

The definition of endurance is, “the fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way.” I truly feel that I am amidst an unpleasant and difficult process, and that I am giving way. I’m not giving way to the pressure of the situation, I’m giving way to fear and anxiety when I know that the Maker of the universe is the one guiding my feet as I run. How can I be afraid when I know this? What reasons do I have to give up and stop running when my finishing point is determined by an omniscient God?

Just like I have to build my physical endurance so that my body is strong and prepared, I have to build my spiritual endurance through prayer, faith, and biblical reminders that I don’t have to give way to a difficult process. Our God is mighty guys, even when we are weak, our strength comes through Him. If you are running down the path that He guides for you, you don’t ever have to let fear stop you.

“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5

 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”                  2 Timothy 4:7

Sincerely,

Jordan

“How are you so skinny?”

faith, weekday thoughts

This question, among others related to my long and lean physique, is probably the most frequent question I’m asked.

I’m a ballet dancer, so most people assume I’m either:

A. Skinny BECAUSE I dance.

B. Skinny FOR dance.

C. Have an eating disorder.

Let me tell you, I’m none of these except maybe partially A. I burn a lot of calories, but I have a genetically fast metabolism and extremely evenly distributed fat. I take in all the food I need (and sometimes too much) and am at a healthy weight for my height and age.

Yes, I am tall and skinny. And yes, I can still be self-conscious about my body.

I’m not saying I should be self-conscious about my body, because I know that God  created me to be exactly the way I’m supposed to be, but I’m tired of people assuming that girls with physiques like “models” (long and skinny) don’t deserve to be uplifted as much as girls who believe they’re overweight… I mean curvy.

As long as you are taking care of your body the way you are meant to, that’s all that should matter! It’s disappointing everybody acting like body-shaming models and ballerinas and the thinner like is the best way to un-body shame curvier women.

Healthy is beautiful. Fearing the Lord is beautiful. This hamburger was really beautiful. 

That annoying Meghan Trainor song is just rude to skinny girls. 

   

 

“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

Proverbs 31:30

xoxo, jordan